The drama has started before a dance step has even been pranced on this week's Strictly Come Dancing as Bruce Forsyth , at the grand old age of 85, has been forced to pull out of filming with flu.
Get well soon Brucie! Nice to sneeze you, to sneeze you... not nice.
Cometh the hour, cometh the Winkleman. Claudia will make her Strictly debut slightly earlier this year, pairing up with Tess tonight and on Sunday's results show.
Aside from the hosting merry-go-round, we'll get to see every single celebrity dance for the second time tonight. Can Abbey Clancy be as sexy in Latin as she was elegant in ballroom? Can Dave Myers possibly top week one? And is there any hope for poor Tony Jacklin? Let us know your thoughts on Twitter (@dsrealitybites) and at the bottom of the page.
Join Digital Spy at 6.20pm when we'll be live blogging all the action from the dancefloor.
20:26Good night all! Please join the debate at the bottom of the page about who rocked and who flopped!
20:25That's all folks. Apologies for the confusion at the start of the night. Too many M&Ms, Tony Jacklin's shirt and the lack of Brucie smashed my internet connection. Thankfully, it recovered in time for some great dances, some terrible dances and a Charleston from Sophie Ellis-Bextor that I'm going to copy in my kitchen right now.
20:22Who do we think is in trouble this week? I suspect Tony Jacklin won't get the usual benefit given to scoreboard scrapers in week one. But who will join him in the bottom two? Julien? Dave? Vanessa? Rachel? I think it's probably one of those four.
20:19Top of the leaderboard in week one is Natalie Gumede. Little Miss Consistent.
20:19Ashley picks up 32 from the judges. I think I forgot to mention Abbey's score earlier, which was 30. Just in case you're a stat fan!
20:18I think Darcey may have a soft spot for young Ashley. She whips out her 9 board again for the dashing Hollyoaks actor.
20:17You've got to take your hat off to Ashley. In a week where you've had a baby to learn a routine as complex as that is incredibly impressive.
20:16"You put the 'ooh' in smooth," says Len. He even lets Ashley off a bad case of dry mouth that lead to some funny facial expressions from the soap star.
20:15"I'm amazed. There was so much content in there. A fantastic showman," says Craig.
Strictly Come Dancing 2013: Ashley Taylor Dawson
20:13Ashley and Ola are tackling the American Smooth. Let's hope it's a good tribute for the little baby boy Mason.
20:13Having a baby in midweek. That's got to be worth a few bonus points right?
20:12I said that Abbey was the last celebrity of the night. I lied. It's Ashley Taylor Dawson. And he's had a baby this week. All together now, awwwww.
20:10Claudia Winkleman wins the show by telling Aljaz to turnaround for being "too good looking". She speaks for a whole nation who are ogling at his chesticle.
20:09Abbey looks gutted and says that she "messed loads of it up".
20:09I suspected Abbey would struggle more in the Latin and I think I've been proven right. She can definitely dance and she obviously looks stunning. But she's much more nervous and wobbly out of hold and doing the whole 'sexy' dancing thing.
20:07But I think it's safe to say they're not getting it on. That tabloid rumour is done and dusted for the series*
*It really isn't. This is the tabloids we're talking about.
20:06Abbey and Aljaz mock tabloid rumours about a possible 'romance' by doing a skit with her husband Peter Crouch. It might have been funny if any of them had one iota of acting talent.
20:05Abbey Clancy, last week's top scorer, is the last celebrity on the dancefloor. Can she possibly top Sophie E-B's score with her first Latin?
Abbey Clancy and Aljaz Skorjanec
20:036-6-7-6 from the judges. A total of 24 for Ben, which is higher than the judges comments suggested that it would be. Kristina and Ben will definitely take that score and run.
20:03The judges all agree that Ben was better this week, but the rugby star is still not a dancer.
20:02Craig says that Ben has a "delicious" butt, but tells him to tuck it in. A nation of women and gay men are screaming at Craig to shut up right now.
20:01"You're like Stone Henge. You look magnificence, but you don't move much," says Len.
Ben Cohen and Kristina Rihanoff
19:59Ben Cohen is up next. He was compared to breezeblock by Craig last week. But this big lump of muscle is being used as the BBC's secret weapon to stop people switching over to a certain little show on ITV. Apparently some viewers would like to see the hunky phwoarsome rugby star romancing Kristina Rhianoff. I can't imagine why.
19:56It's a full house of 9s from Sophie. That's probably slightly overmarked, but I think the judges have got a bit giddy about Sophie's backflips and kicks. And who can blame them.
19:55There were some technical faults and she needs to keep her head up a little bit, but the judges don't seem to care, so why should I.
19:55"That was fit darling," says Craig. I couldn't agree more Craig. I couldn't agree more.
19:54What I loved about that dance was the ambition of the lifts and the fact that we saw a different side to Sophie, who usually plays it cooler than a cucumber. The too cool for school popstar let herself go and that was great fun.
19:53I loved it. And not just Sophie E-B's legs. That routine sparkled as much as Sophie's dress.
19:51Next up? Sophie E-B and Brendan Cole rocking a Charleston.
19:51It's a score of 22 from Mark. How that got less than Vanessa's plodding waltz, I'll never know.
19:51Len describes Mark as a "ray of sunshine" that has come out of the dark clouds of the evening. The only thing that I couldn't stand with the routine was Mark's wig. Did they steal that from Brucie's dressing room?
19:50Mark Benton's come as Shaggy from Scooby Doo and that was probably the routine of the night for me. Ridiculous, silly, but with just enough actual dancing to make tick all my boxes.
19:44Mark Benton needs to find his inner sex god. We could be here a while. Someone delay the Match of the Day start time.
19:43The next couple up... Mark Benton and Iveta Notevengoingtotryspellingit.
19:43I think we've seen some couple who have struggled with the shorter training time for dance two. Fiona looked slick in week one. This week, she slipped back a few levels.
19:426-6-5-5 for Fiona. A rare example of Craig marking higher than Len and Bruno. One for the record books.
19:40"I thought it was nice until you kicked Anton in the shin," says Craig. To be fair, we've all wanted to kick Anton in the shin at one time.
19:40That was a little disappointing from Fiona. She surprised me in week one with her ballroom, but there were some big errors in that routine and she never recovered.
Strictly Come Dancing 2013: Fiona Fullerton
19:37The next celebrity on the dancefloor is Fiona Fullerton. She's persuaded Anton du Beke to help her muck out the goats and chickens on the farm during training this week. It's all gone a bit All Creatures Great and Small.
19:35It's a 3-5-5-5 for Julien and a score of 18. He could be in serious trouble with that score. Julien has toned down the mad man act this week. Perhaps the producers had a word with him after his shrieking last Saturday.
19:34Craig describes it as "ghastly". He's probably right from a technical point of view, but it tickled my fancy.
19:34Len says that it's more Wimpy than Big Mac. I bloody love Wimpys Len. They're more rare and you get cutlery!
19:33Julien Macdonald is dancing with an ultra-serious face to a tango, stomping around, all glittery and camp. It should be awful. But for some reason, I'm enjoying it. It's so wrong, it's right.
19:29Next up is pint-sized mad man Julien. I hope he's not taken the same pills he had before last week's performance.
Julien Macdonald and Janette Manrara
19:29Vanessa gets 23. Call me biased, call me mean, call me what you like. That is outrageously generous.
19:27All we need is for Vanessa to say that she's been "on a journey" and we'll have had every cliche.
19:27Although he does add that he doesn't want to see Vanessa do Latin ever again. There's something we can all agree on.
19:26Even Craig is complimentary. "I think you've done a lovely job James," he says.
19:26The judges appear to be falling for Vanessa wiping away non-existent tears. They're being very generous.
19:25The routine ends with James running away from Vanessa. Who can blame him?
19:23I think Vanessa has got the wrong show. She should be on that ITV karaoke competition with all her tears in the training room. We'll be the ones crying after this waltz I think. And not from joy or emotion.
19:22Can it get more disappointing than Rachel? Yes, yes it can. Here is Vanessa.
19:204-5-6-5 for Rachel and an underwhelming 20.
19:19Darcey thinks that Rachel needs to "flirt more". Bruno thinks that she needs to work on her balance. "You've got the beauty," says the Italian judge. I'm not convinced Rachel has what it takes sadly. She's already falling behind the pack. Pasha looks like he might have given up as well.
19:18"I thought you were working your assets quite a bit out there," says Len, whose pacemaker is working overtime.
Rachel Riley and Pasha Kovalev
19:17"I though you were like a slug in salt," says Craig. He's probably nailed it with that one. It was terribly awkward and bumpy.
19:16Rachel looks like a dancer. She's got the physique of the dancer. I desperately want her to be a dancer. Gosh, I could look at her in those outfits every week. But blimey, she really isn't a dancer.
19:15Rachel Riley is struggling with her sexy side so Pasha has taken her out on a night out down a dark alley.... to a Latin dance club. Obviously. Where else would he have taken her?
19:14Next up is Rachel Riley. The Countdown host was trapped in mid-table last week. This week's she's got to bring "THE SEX" for a Latin number.
19:13The scores for Deborah are 5-7-6-6. Darcey Bussell's 7 is quite inexplicable. If that was a 7, I'm sexier than George Clooney
19:12"Dragon versus drag queen darling," grins Craig, referencing a mock newspaper in the routine, which feature the headline, 'dragon vs dragon' with pics of Craig and Debs. Deborah takes the gag on the chin thankfully. She can probably pay to have Craig bumped off anyway.
19:11Deborah Meaden's hips. Blimey. Words can't covey them.
19:09I feel like I'm watching my mum dancing. I can barely type, because I need my hands to cover my eyes.
19:08Gosh. Next up is Deborah Meaden and Robin. And Deborah is doing sexy. Gosh. I think my dinner may be coming back up.
19:066-7-7-7 from the judges and a total of 27 for Patrick. That looks like it was a little harshly marked for my liking. Patrick could end up in a bit of bother I reckon, because personality-wise he's disappearing into the background.
19:05"You are one to watch," says Darcy, who is very impressed.
Strictly Come Dancing 2013: Patrick Robinson
19:04"Your bottom does stick out a little bit," says Craig. We're not sure if that's a compliment or a criticism.
19:03The next celebrity is Patrick! Someone call 999, Mr Casualty delivering a fire on the dancefloor with a tango.
19:02And phew, I'm all caught up.
19:02Tony only picked up 13. From the ridiculous to the sublime. Next up was Natalie and Artem with a ballroom routine worthy of a champion. 2 9s and a total of 34 mean that she's the one to beat. "Breathtaking," said Craig.
19:00Things were more bleak for Tony Jacklin, who had a golf-themed Charleston. A hideous golf jumper and Aliona's legs couldn't disguise a slow and bumpy routine. "Limp, lame, lacklustre," said Craig.
18:59So what I have I missed so far. Susanna got a 31 (7888) and was told to "give up the day job" by Bruno. "Add control to your spirit and you'll go a long way," said Len.
18:583-5-5-4 for Dave. It's an improvement. The only way was up after last week, but it's still an improvement.
18:57Craig gave Dave a 2 last week and described him as "repulsive". This week he compares him to a lumberjack and tells him to get his hands shaped. He can probably get his hands shaped where Craig gets his forehead unwrinkled.
18:56"It was like a disaster movie... You were cooking up a stink," says Bruno. Gosh.
18:55"It was a bit like flying on a budget airline, it was a bit bumpy, but you got through it," says Len, who is definitely looking on the positive.
18:55I'm back in time to witness Dave Myers waving Karen Hauer around like a plank of wood.
18:54Hello! Thanks to Digital Spy legend Sam Rigby for stepping in while my internet crashed. I blame Tony Jacklin's jumper.
18:52Hairy Biker Dave Myers is dancing the American Smooth...
Strictly Come Dancing 2013: Dave Myers
18:49A score of 34 sees Natalie and Artem waltz their way to the top of the leaderboard!
18:47Craig describes Natalie and Artem's routine as "breathtaking" and Darcey says Natalie is "one to watch".
18:45Natalie Gumede looks stunning in that red dress this evening. The dancing is pretty good too. It's safe to say she'll be near the top of that leaderboard again!
18:43"Limp, lame and lacklustre," says resident grump Craig Revel Horwood. Tony and Aliona score an underwhelming 14 overall.
18:42Bruno isn't a fan of Tony and Aliona tonight. "The most exciting thing about that was the jumper." Oh dear.
18:40Tony Jacklin is tackling the Charleston...in golfing gear!
Strictly Come Dancing 2013: Tony Jacklin
18:26I'm not sure who is winning the fashion-off tonight. Sophie EB's gold Charleston number is pretty swish, but Mark Benton's hippy number and Dave Myers school teacher tie are also catching my eye. Tony Jacklin is wearing something that can only be described as hideous. The poor bloke.
18:24Cor, Brucie's looking good. His wig's fallen down his forehead a bit though. I'm being silly, of course. That's Claudia Winkleman. Find me a man who doesn't love Winklepops and I'll find you a fool.
18:23Bah-ba-bah-ba-ba-bah-bah-bah-bah. Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah.
18:20Are you ready for a long slog? 15 celebrities are dancing in tonight's Strictly marathon. I'm stocked up with peanut butter M&Ms and diet coke. I'm probably going to crash out in 15 minutes. Excuse any stray apostrophes if that's the case.
18:19The joy of switching your TV on in time for Strictly. Yay. The realisation that you've just missed an episode of Celebrity Pointless. In the words of every Premier League football manager, gutted, absolutely gutted.
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